You call them when a disagreement has calcified into the walls of a specific room. Maybe it's the argument about money that only happens in the kitchen, or the one about his mother that only surfaces in the car. The movers show up, professionally, with the same padded blankets and hand trucks as a regular move, except what they're extracting is the argument itself, and they relocate it to a room where it's never been allowed to happen before.

The theory is that arguments are load-bearing on their environment. The kitchen fight about money isn't really about money, it's about the fact that the kitchen is where you're both tired and hungry and standing up. Move that argument to, say, the guest bathroom, and it has to find new footing. It might get weaker. It might get honest for the first time because neither of you has a script for fighting in a bathroom.

The mechanics I keep getting stuck on: how do you actually pick the argument up. I think you'd have to reenact it, badly, in front of the movers, so they can identify its shape and weight before boxing it. That part would be humiliating, which might be the whole therapeutic mechanism, honestly. Humiliation as a moving fee.

There's also the risk of cross-contamination. If you move the money argument into the bedroom, does it start fighting with whatever's already living there. Do arguments merge. Do they multiply. I genuinely don't know if this ends couples' fights or just gives them freedom of movement.

The failure mode I can't shake is that some arguments don't want a new room. They want to stay right where they are, because the room is the only thing agreeing with them.